On Friday, I got the chance to join another missionary, Ben, and his daughter, Margaret, in their ministry in the villages. The basis of their ministry is sharing the gospel through building relationships with families and individuals. Although I don't speak Thai, when we stopped to talk to people, Margaret translated for me a little. We talked to one woman who owns a tool shop, and another family who lives in the villages. This family consists of 8 brothers and sisters and their families all living in a group of houses. It was so good to sit down and listen to these people, to hear about their lives, and to see the relationships that they've built with Ben and Margaret. Before we went to visit the family, though, Margaret warned me that they've been served strange food in the past (including ant and banana salad!) I was pretty sure I could handle eating some ants though, so I wasn't too worried. As Ben said, "Where he leads me I will follow; what he feeds me I will swallow." So I was ready to eat some bugs.
Now let me give you some insight into the Thai people- they LOVE sweetened condensed milk. They even serve it poured over corn as a dessert. So when a family member returned on a motorbike with bags of this white liquid with what looked like jellies in it, I wasn't TOO worried. Sure, I don't like drinking really sweet stuff, but sweetened condensed milk with some kind of gummy thing didn't sound too bad. When they handed it to me, though, it was warm, and in it there was a poached duck egg, yolk runny. So basically, it was warm sweetened condensed milk and coconut milk, served with gummies made out of things like pumpkin and flowers, and a poached duck egg. I did my best to eat it with a smile, but I only got through about half of it. I really tried! It was worth it though to get to spend some time with these beautiful women. They were so delightful to be around, so welcoming, and so thoughtful. It was such a blessing to spend time with Margaret and Ben as well. They are SO EXCITED about Jesus and what he's doing, and it was awesome to see that kind of passion and fire. I think it's easy to be discouraged, feeling like there are so few people who actually practice what they preach, who actually genuinely want to follow God, and it's always encouraging to be around people who are so in love with Jesus and faithfully following him.
On Saturday, I got to visit Pimai, an ancient Buddhist temple. It was really beautiful, and it was kinda fun to do something touristy. While we were there, we noticed that there was a bird sitting on the head of one of the Buddha statues, so we went to take pictures of it. Several pictures were successful, but when I tried to take a picture this is what I got:
Yes, the bird was flying at us as I was taking this picture. It wasn't intentional, but it was pretty great timing. The grounds were really beautiful too. There are these trees in Thailand with orange flowers. I LOVE them. Orange has basically always been my favorite color, so I am absolutely captivated by these trees, and having them as the backdrop for this amazing temple was breathtaking.
I think since I've been here, God has been teaching me a lot about RESTING. I think that often, I associate inactivity with laziness and passivity, and often, that is a valid connection. But we also weren't created to be CONSTANTLY going, and our value does not come from constant production or movement. Instead, we are inherently valuable because God created us, and being in relationship with him gives us the freedom to rest in his grace and the freedom to be human and have limitations. There has been a decent amount of down time since I've been here, but I honestly don't feel like there has been a single wasted minute. It has given me a good amount of time to spend with the family or to process what I've been doing and what God's doing. Some of the experiences have been pretty overwhelming, like going to the slums, going to the women's home, and going to Pattaya. In those three events alone, I feel like God has really tugged on my heartstrings and filled me with compassion for all of his people. I guess this goes along with being careful what you wish for- before I left for Thailand, I asked God to challenge me and to break my heart for what breaks his. Not surprisingly, he came through, and he is doing just that. I was recently asked to describe my experience so far in two words, and these are the words I chose: heart-wrenching and breathtaking. Heart-wrenching because of all of the poverty and hopelessness I've seen, and breathtaking because of how God's beauty has totally shone through it all.
It can be overwhelming thinking of all that needs to be done in the world. There is so much poverty, and so much injustice. I've been reading a book called The Irresistible Revolution, and here's something I read recently:
"I remember hearing about an old comic strip... Two guys are talking to each other, and one of them says he has a question for God. He wants to ask why God allows all of this poverty and war and suffering to exist in the world. And his friend says, 'Well, why don't you ask?' The fellow shakes his head and says he is scared. When his friend asks why, he mutters, 'I'm scared God will ask me the same question.'"
When I was with Ben and Margaret on Friday, Ben asked me if I was planning on being a missionary, and I replied that I wasn't sure. He encouraged me to think and pray about it more, because the Bible clearly says "GO!", that I don't need to wait for some earth-shattering revelation from God in order to start doing his work. He's right, really. I think it's easy to think that if we don't have some divine revelation or vision or whatever, that we can ignore the command to go. I may end up being a missionary, but honestly, I still have no idea. What I do know is that "go"-ing doesn't necessarily mean moving halfway around the globe. There's poverty and suffering where I am too, and I don't need to wait for God to call me to help people, because he already has called me. I'm still not sure what exactly to do with all these thoughts logistically, but I do know this- I am determined to follow Jesus and to love the people around me wherever I am.
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